The Summer To-Do List

(Note: A version of this column appeared in the June 20, 2011 edition of the UVU Review)

Have you spent the first half of the summer watching a lot of TV? If you nodded yes, slap yourself.

Yes, it’s already mid-June, but it’s not too late. You can change your ways. Start a List.

List making is admittedly not new, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth your time. Until you actually plan out your summer, it’s going to remain a shapeless, ambitionless blob. Like you. So take out a sheet of paper, take a leap of faith in yourself, and decide what the next few months are going to be.

There aren’t any guidelines for making this list. Just do it. You’ll know it’s right if when you finish, a great “Dang right I will!” escapes you lips. I know it did mine.

Here are my top five:

1) Buy a road bike – Financial constraints have led to me to approach commuting the old-fashioned way. In addition to that, there is something about riding downhill on a bike, peddling furiously, wind blowing my hair back, that helps recapture some of my lost youth. Doesn’t hurt the body image either.

2) Find my go-to sno cone shop – A must for any summer, a good sno cone shop can really set the tone. Here’s a helpful hint: coconut flavor won’t stain your shirt.

3) Kiss a girl – This has been on my summer list since I was 13. Summer lovin’, although cliché, is hard to beat. Luckily, I am entering the summer months already attached to a lovely lady, so this one should be a go.

4) Barbeque every weekend – Despite the financial commitment that this entails, I’m dedicated to sizzling steaks and blowing smoke into my neighbor’s yard. There are friends that I neglected in favor of my studies during the bitter winter. What better way to catch up than around a grill?

5) Read the classicsOliver Twist, Middlemarch, and Ender’s Game top my list, among others. Charles Dickens and George Eliot may be old school and behind on fashion, but they’re excellent company on a picnic.

There you have it. Although some of them may appear silly, I’m taking them very seriously. I won’t be satisfied until I squeeze every last drop out of this summer. Neither should you.

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Talk to me (just not through text)

(Note: This column appeared in the June 6, 2011 edition of the UVU Review)

I remember when I realized the world had changed. It was after watching a movie at my house, and I asked my cousin who she had been texting the entire time. The answer, “My boyfriend,” blew my mind because he had been sitting on an adjacent couch at the time.

“We were fighting,” she explained, then changed the subject, as if this were no major announcement. I brought her back. “Wait, what? You were fighting, through texts, while in the same room together?” She understood my question, but not the incredulity. “Yeah. So?”

It’s only three years later, but the onward march of technology has completely trampled my apparently archaic view of relationships. Call friends to catch up? Nah. Just look up their latest pictures on Facebook. Forget to set up a date with what’s-her-face for tonight? No worries bro. Just text her during physics class. Or better yet, post “Hey, let’s hang out!” on her Wall and wait for a response.

Shut-ins rejoice! We don’t need face to face communication anymore, just P2P. Right?

I once dated a girl who refused to share her feelings to my face, even when I tried to force it. “I feel uncomfortable,” she would grumble. Then as soon as I left her house, my phone would buzz with a text. “i had fun tonite thanks for dinner. sorry i cant talk about my feelings but i’m glad you tried” Yeah, that relationship went real deep, let me tell ya.

That’s the word that’s missing: depth. We have faster, farther reaching communication than ever before, but it’s all on the surface of our computer and phone screens. Although everything is moving forward in the world of technology, our relationships have taken a step back.

That’s right girlfriend. That guy you met, looked up on facebook, and have had regular technological contact with for the past few weeks? Sorry sister, but that’s going nowhere.

If we keep this up, the things that really matter in this world, our relationships, are going nowhere too.

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Time

Five months have come and gone since I returned from Bolivia. I’ve passed through a semester of college, a new job, and several trips to different parts of the U.S., but Bolivia clings to me like a sweet aftertaste.

Time is not a chain of events, each connected only to the previous and following link. I’ve come to think of time as more of a liquid – each drop only adds to the constantly moving, mixing mass of memories and current experience. No single moment can be completely isolated from the rest, for what would an A grade in school be without a previous F? or a baby’s first step without the first hundred falls? or love without the stinging memory (or fear) of rejection?

What would my today be without my yesterday in Bolivia?

Reflection is a good teacher.

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Camping

I just got back from a three-day camping trip. The possibility of camping with Bolivians interested me. Would it be very different? And would any of the boys die, considering that I had been placed as a leader, alongside fellow adult-aged, child-minded friends Samuel and Matthew?

Setting up camp

It started out normal. We hurriedly packed the night before, stuffing too much clothing and not enough bug repellent into duffle bags and backpacks. I slept the entire drive to the campsite, apparently missing beautiful scenery and several near-death experiences. Unloading was the same as always – the eleven boys each carried one small bag the entire 100 yards from the car to the site, then started playing around with a large rock, which they insisted they must move to make room for the tent. Meanwhile, the adults (I flatter myself with that title) made five or six trips, carrying the gear that would eventually be put to use by the boys. I was upset at this for several minutes, but then remembered the time that I pretended to get lost to avoid setting up the fifteen-man teepee that my Scoutmaster had brought. I appeared suddenly in the camp just in time to say, “Hey, it looks great! Sorry I got lost,” before I was pelted with pine cones by my peers. In honor of “What Goes Around Comes Around,” I let the boys’ offense slide.

Men's camp

The camp looked terrible. We had branches strewn everywhere, hauled to the site by independent groups of boys intent on preparing for the fire of the decade. The tents had no tarps beneath them, and threatening clouds promised to make us pay. The bishop (blue words found on “Brief Explanations” page) started to make a table of tree limbs lashed together with twine, but couldn’t maintain the interest of the boys, so abandoned that idea. I could tell this half table was destined to remain incomplete the duration of the trip. In setting up their tents, most of them required help, in the form of my taking over completely. In short, these kids were excellent Boy Scouts, exhibiting all the qualities that I developed in my days as a scout.

A castle, complete with flying buttresses and a gate.

After getting our camp set up – mostly – I went to check out the campsite of the girls. I was impressed to the point of hysterical laughter. The tents were symmetrically placed. Some were garnished with tree boughs. Each ward marked their turf with rope fences, sometimes decorated with balloons and tree branches. They even made signs designating their ward. They took these boundaries fairly seriously – I overheard one woman chastise a girl for crossing into her campsite without permission. I also heard a leader explain to her group that “we have doors for a reason, and you can’t just step over the fence.” It was intense.

A heart-balloon decorated, fully-operational portcullis. At a campsite. Women.

Cooking was an adventure, as it always is with a group of boys. We had trouble controlling the level of gas in the camp stove, so either there wasn’t enough to light the match, or the flame was so big that it burned off some of Samuel’s hair. Eventually we decided that it was a danger to have such an unpredictable fire, so we decided to cook on the stove that the sisters had. Which meant that after they looked over our shoulders for a few minutes and corrected every move we made, they eventually took over and did all the cooking for the next three days. I saw boys in other camps trying to sabotage their stoves to get the same result, but unsuccessfully.

The women cook for us. Samuel supervises.

Latins make better lovers, even while camping. At midnight, six or seven of the boys snuck off with a guitar, crossed the forbidden bridge between the boys’ and girls’ camps, and serenaded the young ladies with a few choice ballads. Twenty minutes later, after warming up their voices and their courage, the girls returned the favor to our camp. This time, because of their large numbers, the girls didn’t dare cross The Bridge, instead singing across the river. For the next hour, the two groups of starry-eyed romantics traded songs, the boys clapping when the girls sang, the girl screaming for the boys like they were the Beatles. Samuel, Matthew, and I

The dance hall.

languished in our tent, alternating between shouting insults at the boys and begging them to go to bed. Again, I was angry, but like before, I remembered what it was like to be young. I looked down the long hallway of my distinguished 26 years and remembered several late night serenades through open windows, followed by fathers telling me to “Get the hell outta here!” I decided to again forgive their youthful enthusiasm.

Bolivians never dance in groups, always in pairs. They tend to form lines facing each other.

A few nights later we had a dance. I suppose it’s my limited experience, but I don’t think I’m alone in imagining that a Latin dance is never dull, everyone participates with vigor and skill, and somewhere in there there’s a mariachi band. To the contrary, these youngsters provided a scene that resembled every high school dance I ever attended. 20 danced at a time, while the other hundred sat in a circle and complained about how bored they were. The adults parked a few cars near the dance floor, a small pit lined with cement, opened the doors, put together a risky wiring job, and soon had the place bumping with Shakira, Jay-Z, and Lady Gaga. It was a great cauldron of youthful hormonal exhibition. Apparently word had spread about my amazing dancing skills, because I had to turn down several offers from pretty young girls who didn’t know how old I was (my turning down pretty girls was one of the only new thing I saw that night).

The three days ended long after I was ready to go home. Again, I played the dutiful, responsible adult leader, packing and hauling and cleaning up, while the kids enjoyed a game of soccer. Nobody died (although Samuel lost a few eyebrows and eyelashes), I held my patience, and the kids had a lot of fun. Camping with Bolivians wasn’t so different after all.

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Aymara New Year

Teodora and I wait for everyone else to show up. She's dressed in cholita clothing, and I look like a tourist. Two worlds collide.

It all starts at about 3:30 in the morning. Three men dressed in red robes and warm hats blow instruments made of animal horns and a conch shell. Copacabana slowly ripples with energy, live bodies silently making their way from their beds to the hill. The residents of Copacabana gather on a nearby hilltop to remember the unchangeable past and to prepare to change the future.

Clockwise from top middle (it's easiest to start with the white person): Rachel Potter, Jovy (named after a Baywatch character), a young neighbor boy, Teodora, and Elvis.

It was only a few hours before dawn on June 21, 2010, the Aymara New Year when I became a part of this ancient tradition. I was lucky to be a Fringe Bolivian this morning. (For an explanation of this and other terms, see my Brief Explanations page, located below the title on my front page.) I’d become good friends with the owners of the hostel where I stayed, thanks mostly to Rachel Potter, my Copacabana insider, and they took me under their collective wing this cold morning. For Rachel’s pictures of this event, click here.

Presents of candy, trinkets, pictures, and similar items are burned as gifts to Pachamama, Aymara goddess of the earth

One the hike up mountain, one hand was full with a bag of gifts for earth goddess Pachamama, the other with a pot of hot chocolate (the traditional coffee being replaced by the family in deference to my religious abstinence), so the group of men gathered at the foot of the hill didn’t even think I was a tourist, saving me a good ten pesos. They tried to charge Rachel, but were reprimanded by her adopted family, who said, “She is one of us.” Latin hospitality is like a soft blanket.

Teodora placed her offering to Pachamama upon the burning pyre, asking blessings on her family and the family’s business. I offered hot chocolate and bread to my stomach, begging it to stop growling. My stomach was appeased; we’re still waiting on Pachamama.

Copacabana residents await the first rays of light.

A distinct strength of Latin culture is community – commune + unity. The whole town climbed the hill, even the Catholic priest, who maybe didn’t approve of the constant perpetuation of pagan traditions, but who attended because he’s a member of the community. In my wanderings in Copacabana, I mostly just saw tourists and shopkeepers, but hundreds of people came for this annual event.

There were clouds in the sky, so the sun was fashionably late to his own party. As the moment neared, we all stretched our palms toward the horizon, thinking about the past year and everything that was bad and good. The sun’s rays peeked at us through a small opening between distant mountains and the clouds, the sunlight hitting our open palms. I asked myself, “What great things will you do this year? What new light will you bring to yourself and the world?” The main worries that constantly circulate my brain always center around three things: Do I love God enough? Will I find someone that I can love for the rest of my life and beyond? Will I be able to provide for that someone and the children we will raise?

Although the ceremony was cut short by the pesky clouds, the community stayed on the hilltop to talk, eat, burn things, and instill traditions in their children. I was one of the first to leave, in a hurry to catch my bus back to Cochabamba. Maybe it was the centuries old stone steps that I walked on the way down. Or maybe it was the kindness of the hot chocolate that stirred in my belly. Who know, it could even have been the sunlight on my palms. But I was contemplative during the hike down. I had thought about my unchangeable past, and worried about the future. Will this little hilltop change me?

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